Dog days

Some days just aren’t a win.

I took the day off today to hang out with the girls, as our babysitter had some things she needed to do today.

The dog needed shots etc… and today was a good enough day for it.

When I told the kids it was time to go and that we were in a hurry, Caroline changed clothes TWICE from the perfectly acceptable outfit she had on.

Claire put on three different pairs of church shoes, after I requested flip flops or boots anything that can get dirty.

I was hollaring before we even left the house. The usual Get Dressed! Where are your SHOES?! Please stop locking the car door so your sister can get in! BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT!

When we arrived, the dog jumped out of the car nicely instead of requiring me to lift him down. I thought my luck must be turning.

I was trying to get the silly dog calm in the waiting room while the kids giggled and bounced on the seats. They squabbled and poked at the dog making him get up and dance too.

Sit King! Girls SIT DOWN. Girls quit taking to King!! King SIT!

The people at the waiting room were amused. One lady offered her thoughts that neither kids nor dog were listening to me.

I didn’t think it was unkind…..because she wasn’t wrong.

Once the vet called us back, it was more of the same – though the kids were both on the floor at one point laying on their backs beside the dog. But the dog at least was halfway listening. So that was an improvement.

I briefly considered leaving the kids to clean cages and just taking the dog. But I figured they might charge me board on them and decided against it.

Once we got home we took time and thoroughly brushed the dog and got gigantic amounts of hair off him (undercoat) and gave him a bath.

Because it was hot, we were sweaty and the hair stuck to us. After the dog bath, the kids needed a kid bath before their lunch and nap.

Now yesterday morning I asked Claire to pick up the clothes she threw on her closet floor. She had been procrastinating and dawdling for 36 hours at this point.

After nap today I insisted. And she resisted.

Finally after piddling around for 3 hours she began to pick up one piece of clothing At. A. Time. And ssslloowwwwly looked over each one.

Skips down the hall singing.

“Mama? This a size 5? ” While holding up a shirt. (The kid can read numbers just fine)

Me: Yes Claire. It is a 5.

Claire: giggles. “Are you surrrreeee???”

Me: Claire!

She then scurried off and deliberately hung that item on the hanger, only to repeat the process with the next thing she picked up.

Gahhhhh.

That is how my day went. All day. When they weren’t balking at helping me they were fighting with each other. It seemed like one of them was screaming and the other crying all day. And if it wasn’t screaming/crying it was plotting and racious laughter.

At the table over dinner tonight I was trying to explain it to Lynn.

He wasn’t getting it. Until Claire piped up “Yeah. Sissy tried to put dog poop on my shirt today”

WHAT? His eyes were big – she had Lynn’s attention now.

Mischievous Claire went on to describe a backyard stick fight (while I was inside the house vacuuming) that turned gross when they stuck their fighting sticks in…you guessed it. Fresh stinky dog poop. Caroline tossed in details from the other room.

The combination of their shameless description with Lynn’s horrified face was too much for my tired nerves. I laughed uncontrollably until I cried and couldn’t breathe.

Finally. He got it. The kids were mean today.

Whew.

They got baths with soap, and have been turned over to their Daddy for tucking in tonight while I take a break.

Little stinkers.

The Jessicaland bubble

I live in a bubble. I call it Jessicaland.

Part of it is from my easily-distracted nature. 

Three times in my life (as a child, in my early twenties and again in my thirties) I have been officially diagnosed with ADHD…..I call it “OOOh, look! Squirrel!” 

Once I had kids it got significantly worse.

For example, I was physically present at church Sunday (yesterday)…but I couldn’t tell you what the sermon was about, who is on the prayer list or what songs we sang. (Sorry Preacher. I promise I try.) I CAN tell you Claire took her shoes off three times, kept her eyes open during the prayer, and laid down on the pew once…And it was hot in the sanctuary. I might have taken my shoes off as well.

Because of this sometimes I miss socially important things. 

Like the name of the nice lady I talk to every Sunday (I friended you on Facebook yesterday after church when my husband told me your name)

Like the fact we actually do have classes at our church on Sunday night.(I’ve been a member for 12 years and missed that!)

But anyway. I probably look like I’m snooty. My husband says often my face looks like I’m mad. I promise you I’m neither. 

I’m a decently educated but mush-for-brains working mom trying to make sure I’m kind of holding it all together so my kids learn to act with at least a small level of decorum and a large amount of kindness.

My favorite part of blogging by a long shot is people I see regularly in life but don’t know very well, opening up and sharing their stories with me. 

How a photo I took reminds them of something from their childhood. 

How my kid eating cereal reminds them of raising their kids.

Thank you friends. Thank you for commenting, for sharing your stories and for talking to me. 

Thank you for reaching out and making me part of your real-life community. I love you for it!

Happy Monday evening friends.

Snow boots

Every single other day this year she wants to wear her snow boots. Today, when we get snow…Know what she wears? 

THESE.

This kid is killing my sanity. Good thing I love her.

Soccer fun

Caroline had her first soccer game today. She’s playing upward soccer.

Basically, since they are 4 years old they just run around the field in a little huddle and occasionally kick in the direction of the ball.

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All uniformed up

And then for no apparent reason, one of the kids will randomly fall and dramatically roll…pause to see if anyone noticed..then then they realize the game goes on without them they spring up and scurry back into the pack.

I might be a bad person, but I find it laugh out loud hilarious. So try as I might to pretend to be normal, I’m all “cackle and slap my knee”

Which is probably off-putting to the other parents….I can only assume that since I’ve not made a soccer mom-friend yet.

Or maybe my soccer-mom friendlessness is because during practice and games I’m wrassling she-tiger-Claire, furiously slurping coffee and picking up the trash from the snacks Claire is eating/throwing… You know, basically looking like a crazy person.

Either way, Caroline enjoys it, Claire enjoys it and I enjoy it -so it’s a win.

My funny and good looking lunch date

Had to go to the ENT to get Claire’s ear tubes checked. Turned out tubes are no longer functioning she also has an ear infection. BOO.

Since it was lunchtime and I wanted to spend a bit of one on one time with her we went to lunch.

The first place we went was on fire. Literally. Fire trucks everywhere, firemen of the roof – the whole shebang.

We settled on a deli.

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She loved her pizza

This place included a soft serve cone with every meal. Hurray.

Claire took NO LESS than 30 minutes to eat hers. After each bite she rolled her eyes back and said “YUM!” It was a puddle by the time she was done so she resorted to licking it off the napkin.

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Oh Claire.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY friends. That is something to celebrate!

The Zoo and the booger sheets

The ratbabies myself and my friend Shannon went to the zoo.  We walked almost 4 miles. (According to fitbit)

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Silly kidlets
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Baby birds in the nest

I signed up for the HGTV dream home, at least 4 times. Obviously I’ll win it. Kidding. My mind is overly optimistic thought, as always.

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When I got this email..I thought "I better put on pants without paint stains ASAP!"
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Sister love.

I have a perfectly good set of lavender sheets that Caroline hates passionately. She says they hurt. (They are not the 700+ thread count she prefers) They have a couple bleach stains..nothing bad.
She call them the “Booger Sheets”. (Claiming they are covered with boogers even when freshly laundered)

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Poor kitty is on the dreaded booger sheets

Too bad for Caroline, that I have to wash the acceptable hot pink sheets on occasion.
But they are back on her bed and all is well tonight.

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The pink sheets

Kids eat gross stuff

With the time change we overslept and woke up as church was starting. Oops.

Cows needed feeding and groceries needed getting so we divided and conquered. Lynn took Caroline yo the farm and I took my brain-twin Claire to the store.

Oh my. I had forgotten. Taking one kid is SO MUCH EASIER… Almost what you would call pleasant. It helped Starbucks was handing out tiny sample drinks (cinnamon roll frappachino and strawberry milkshake)

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She loved it.

This afternoon I was watching both girls play and Claire was “fixing” her Jeep.

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Maybe a mechanic one day?

Then I get distracted by something, and a few minutes later I hear Claire crunching on something with a little dribble going down her chin (ew). At that moment, I remembered that I had forgotten to get them a snack .

Me: “Claire…what are you eating?”

Claire: (proudly holding it in her hand and showing me) ” Mmmnn. Kitty feed. Want some? ” (trying to poke some in my mouth….she’s fast)

Me: Flailing dramatically. “No! Gross! Shew! Spit it out!”

Claire was greatly amused by my reaction and quickly wiped her drooling mouth on my sleeve while chuckling to herself. Then she turned around and ran off.

Ew. Kids. Gotta love em.

Painting and picking up.

The girls are giddy with the freedom of spring break. And by giddy, I mean wild and raucous.

So we mostly stayed home today. They painted some, while I drank coffee and sat on the back porch. Tried to clean the house, but none of us were very motivated…so that didn’t go well.

We kidnapped my friend and took her to help get new church shoes for the girls then dinner. Every time I take them in a shoe store I swear it will be my last.

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They love to paint
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Claire's painting
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Me: "Smile Claire" Claire: "No. NOT smile!"
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Caroline loves to have her picture taken

Pony time

Claire asked to sit on the pony and the horse today. First time she’s asked to touch them. She might make a horse person yet.

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First time horseback. Finally.
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Sweet Caroline and her pony friend

I love these sweet, wild, crazy girls.

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