Strep

Strep throat has hit our house. Claire and I are down and being treated.

Caroline woke up this morning with a scratchy throat.

Dang it. Since Lynn is neck deep in corn harvest he’s not able to help by hanging out with Claire. Two kids at the doctor are quite a challenge.

So I call and the pediatrician can see us at 9am. Great. That means I can finish my coffee. There’s a positive!

I’m putting on some makeup and drinking coffee. It’s 8am.

Caroline starts on me. “You better hurry up, we need to leave by 8:45”

Me (slurping coffee) “I hear you, I understand what you are saying. Also, you are not in charge. I will get you there on time. Let me drink my coffee.”

Claire *laughs while somersaulting backwards over the couch*

I hear laughing so I choose to let it go for the sake of my sanity. Also, I’m trying to get dressed.

Caroline “Mom. Just so you know, Claire is doing back flips off the couch. Do you want to say something to her or do you want me to?”

Me “Caroline. Leave Claire alone. Leave me alone. You are not the Mom. Go relax in your room and I will let you know when it’s time to leave”

Caroline from her room. “Remember we need to leave at 8:45. Better make it 8:30 just in case”

Me *locks my door and turns on music so I can get dressed alone*

Claire *Loud THUD. A pause….and then giggles*

We got to the pediatrician fine.

We got back to the room fine. Even the strep test was fine. The flu shot was fine. Waiting for the doctor was hellacious.

Caroline laid off the exam table and rubbed her face all around the edge of it.

Me “Caroline. Please stop. Please stay on the paper and don’t try to pick up germs.”

Caroline “I’m not trying to.”

Me “Don’t”

I hear a chair scoot. Scoot. Scrape across the floor. Claire is rearranging the chairs.

Me “Claire. Please don’t”

Claire “Haha oh, ok sweet Mommy” batting her eyes at me.

Caroline is now rubbing the bottom of her flip-flops and then chewing her fingers.

Me “Stop!”

Claire is standing in the rearranged chair.

Me “STOP”

They both laugh and continue.

Me “STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!!”

They stop. Wow, that worked. Also, I just bellowed in the scariest voice I could at my sick kids at the doctor office. Hope they don’t call DHS.

Resolving to use quieter tones I take a couple deep breaths.

I hear a smack. Carolines flip flop has fallen on the floor. Claire rushes to pick it up and with first her hands, then her face pushes on the bottom of the shoe and Caroline takes three minutes to put it on.

Whatever. I’m going to ignore it. Germ yourselves up kids.

Claire is quiet for a second. I look up and she’s got her mouth on the counter by the sink and she’s licking the entire side by her chair. It’s about 2 foot of counter edge.

All my resolve vanishes in a millisecond.

Me (hissing) “CLAIRE. STOP THAT”

Claire pauses mid lick. “Stop what beautiful Mommy?”

Me “Stop. Licking. The. Counter.”

Claire. “Ah. Hahaha. Ok. That! You should have told me!”

Caroline’s foot is resting on the doctors rolling stool. She’s kicking it so it spins

Me “Please stop spinning that, it might be adjusting the height, and I bet the doctor likes it like he has it”

Caroline “ok” and she stops

Less than 30 second later she’s kicking it again.

Me “You need to stop”

Caroline carefully stares me in the eyes and smiles and kicks it again. Without breaking eye contact she raised one eyebrow and says “I’m NOT kicking it”

I grabbed her and through gritted teeth said the only thing that breaks her heart “You are moving down to orange” (on her behavior chart that she made herself) I popped her on the bottom and slid the stool across the room away from either kid

Claire jumped up immediately and scurried over and started spinning the stool.

My jaw literally dropped open. What on Earth had gotten into these kids?!

Me “CLAIRE” (another Bellow)

And at that moment the doctor walked in.

Claire leapt up to give me a hug and a kiss “I love you Mommy!”

She patted my face with the little hands that had been all over every germy surface. Then she grinned and as fast as lightening KISSED ME ON THE MOUTH, and clambered back to her chair where she crossed her legs at the ankle and smiled at me with her hands sweetly folded in her lap .

Doctors report was the strep test was negative, they would call if the culture says anything else and Caroline has a cold.

We survived today.

I bet we will be back in 3-10 days depending on what fun new germs we brought home.

Yikes.