Election day

I took the day off today.

Since I early voted it was just me, the wild/feral children and a long to-do list.

I told them to put some clothes on, thinking that I could wear yoga pants and a sweatshirt and at least run errands in comfort.

THIS is how they marched out of their rooms.

Seriously kids. How am I going to blame my slouchy look on you when you dress all cutsy and stuff?

Ugh. Makeup and real pants it was for me.

We got some stuff done (calf starter picked up, bills mailed… you know regular boring stuff) Then I pulled into Lowe’s to get some supplies to fix the fireplace. The kids have been working diligently to pull the bricks up one by one. I didn’t think they had it in them to actually destroy BRICKS but they proved me wrong.

My sweet little delicate flowers tore this apart. Told you they are feral.

I hear them tussling in the back seat, but hey, what else is new. I pulled into my parking spot and look in my rearview mirror to see how things are lined up and here’s what I see.

Me “Why are you out of your seat?” Claire “Because I want to. Because we not on road”

Le sigh.

I put them in the buggy to contain them, then I returned something left over from the kitchen remodel. As usual I told the kids what we are there for…so maybe they can help me remember, even though I have a list.

Here’s the list I have them

Paint
Hacksaw blade
Several things of calk

If you know my children, you know I just made a mistake.

They like to talk loudly.

“Mama gotta buy paint!” Claire hollared at a stranger

“Hacksaw blade! Wwwooooohooo Hacksaw blade yaaaaahhhh” Caroline sang loudly as I neared the middle of the store.

Caroline again…”several tubes of calk. Several means a lot”

“Calk! Hey you Calk!” Claire joined in the song.

Uh-oh.

Several people looked our way startled.

Ok. Think about what inappropriate word it sounds like my precious-innocent-angelic-child is yelling. If you can’t figure it out, go ask a teenager.

Me “shhhhh kids”

But it was too little too late. And now they think I’m embarrassed because they are being loud. These girls dont know about bad words other than “butt” or “booger”. Much to my horror, they increased their volume because they can smell fear.

Caroline “Yeah! Mommy’s here to get a WHOLE BUNCH of CALK! WHEEEE! Who can help my Mommy find CALK?”

Like a background singer Claire was sitting g in the buggy and waving her hands back and forth in the air singing “Calk calk calk calk calk”in a high pitched singsong voice.

Now people really WERE looking our way. Definitely not my imagination now. Several smirks, a couple of disapproving head shakers.

I briefly considered abandoning the shopping cart and making a run for it. But…not wanting to completely abandon my kids in a public place I decided not to. Besides, singing loudly in a store is all they knew they were doing, and that’s a relatively minor offense.

But then I remembered bribes! Ah ha! “Y’all want to go out for eats?”

Instantly the singing stopped.

Them “Yah yah yah!!”

Me “Then you have to be quiet and let me think so we can hurry”

Them *giggles and nudging each other* “sshhhhs!

So we had McDonald’s for lunch. I consider that $11.55 fast food meal money well spent.